A Goodbye.

Who knew that saying goodbye to a car would be so hard for me. I remember when I wrote this post. Declaring my love for a certain minivan. A MINIVAN. Then I realized the amount of miles and shitty gas mileage that went along with it weren't going to be good enough for a photographer who spends a lot of Saturdays in the summer driving all over Ohio. So we got a second car, one that was good on gas and began driving that almost all the time.

We took the van to the beach in September because of the video screens and the room and comfort but that was about the last big trip she's been on. Fast forward to now, there have been a lot of changes in our life lately and one thing we agreed on was that it was probably best if we ditched the gas-guzzling van for a smaller SUV, one that gets at least 30 mpg. Well, that is happening this week and I spent about 15 minutes just.sitting.in.the.van yesterday. Looking around, imaging the 1-2 more kids I had planned on hauling around in there for the next 7-10 years.

I guess letting go of the van is in a way symbolic of me letting go of that dream of having 3 kids and accepting that fact that one more is about all we can handle at this point. Neither of us wants to put me through this again. But I won't stop until I can fill *both* of those seats in the new car.