Thank you mista Easter Bunny

We liked Easter A LOT around here. Mason colored his first eggs, which was more like dropping bombs into what he thought was some new delicous concoction that I was going to start feeding him. Too funny. Who knew vinegar and water was so yummy? Not me.

The Easter bunny was wonderful to Mason. He almost riveled Santa. But alas, Mason has NO CLUE what I am talking about. What bunny? Don't see a bunny? Hrmph. That would be me, mother of the year, who has yet to get a photo of her son screaming smiling on the lap of some smelly dude the Easter bunny. It was in the plans for Saturday, but there was too much going on and HAMS! to pick up. Maybe next year!

Hope you all had a wonderful Easter!

Do you know the muffin girl?

So far, so good. I stocked my fridge and pantry with the good stuff and pushed aside all the bad stuff. I should throw it away but then there's always the starving children with their puppy dog eyes in those evil commercials flashing in my head.

Recipe numero uno comin' atcha.

Roasted Chickpeas
1 can of chick peas (garbonzo beans), drained and rinsed

Heat oven to 350 and roast for 50 minutes or until they happily dance around on your baking sheet and clink together.

This makes 4 servings (I usually make two cans at once for 8 servings), a serving equals roughly 1/4 cup.

I munch on these suckas for a snack and they are pretty damn good. They should be crunchy, not mushy. I imagine you could season them with something NOT SALT because salt iz bad but I haven't got that creative yet.

I have resumed my Zumba practices 3x a week and started running again. I took it slow on my first run because of my knee, which ended my short-lived running career in the first place. I also did some weight training today. Gee was that fun. Muscle definitely disappears WAY too fast if you don't keep poking them with a proverbial stick. I weigh myself on Monday so  AFTER New Years Eve and about 5 bagazillian glasses of wine and *blue drinks.

Happy New Year internets. Be safe and try not to pass out early like I am sure I probably will.



*Be patient, young grasshoppa. You shall see soon.

Survivors and a Big Ol' Cliche

We made it! We did it! Christmas is OVA. I made it all the way through without throwing anything, and I think that deserves at least a hefty pat on the back. I put up with annoying people, an unruly child and sometimes grumpy husband. AND they all put up with me without any fist fights. HORRAY!

Mason was, for the most part, a picture of perfection for all that we put him through. I mean, with all the missed naps, late bedtimes and incredibly overwhelming PILES of presents, he was pretty well behaved. Of course we had a few minor meltdowns, but I am blaming that on the impending arrival of the dreaded molars.

We ate. A LOT. I am not making that up.I promise that I probably ate enough to feed a small country. My mom made her Thanksgiving day feast on Christmas Day. Yeah. I missed it this year so she was kind enough to indulge me. And help me gain almost 4 pounds in one week. Go me.

SO, there it is. I am HUGE. Thighs are a thunderin' and gut is a gigglin'. My ass needs a major overhaul. I was doing pretty good up until about a couple weeks before the holidays and then BOOM. My body stopped. I was at a stand-still that I could not break. The culprit: carbs. I am a carboholic. I am the queen of pasta. I could eat it all day every day. But that my ass grows and that's no good. I know (because I have done it before) that if I at least cut back on my carb intake, I will drop the pounds in a snap. So here I go again, modifying my meals, whipping out my beloved South Beach cookbook (I hate the diet, but love the recipes) and getting down to business. I need to fit into things comfortably again minus the muffin top.

I guess that is my big cliche New Years Resolution. I am going to get rid of these last 15ish pounds left over from the Mason takeover of '08 and '09. I am going to go nibble on some celery now. As I do this I am going to try to post my recipes for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks in case anyone is interested in some healthy meals for the new year. Hmph. 15 to go.

HO HO HO and a bottle of wine.

AKA one down, twelve to go?

You know that crazy family member that everyone has that always shows up to the Christmas party drunk and smelling of peppermint schnapps? I am slowly becoming that person. Although I don't like peppermint, I prefer wine and I have not showed up to a Christmas party drunk yet, but I had good intentions last night. Mason, you know your mom is cool when she stuffs a bottle of wine in your diaper bag, fully intending on numbing herself to the crazy Christmas madness. That poor bottle of wine remained unopened. I set him safely in his new home, our fridge, and let him know that Wednesday would be his day to shine. His day to make my Christmas a little merrier.

Instead, that fat bastard jolly old elf named Santa showed up and gave my kid a present. Mason stared at him longingly until it was his turn to sit on his lap and then this happened:

FAIL. He didn't cry but he squirmed until Santa could not contain him anymore and ran away with the goods. Speaking of the goods.

Ahh, presents. He's a quick learner.

See there? He got a PICKUP TRUCK.

And now...A FIRE ENGINE! He liked his poor cousin's fire engine better (the kid has a thing for red) so he ganked it, luckily without getting into a fight with his generous, trading cousin.

And now we are the proud owners of ANOTHER noise-making fire engine. Merry Christmas.

A Ho, Ho, Hooooo

I present you with my 2009 Christmas list, my WISH list, I would like to stress. For Christmas this year I actually got a trip to Las Vegas and Lasik surgery (be jealy). A girl can dream, can't she? (all prices are from Amazon because, well, you are IDIOT if you shop anywhere else without looking there first)

To remind me of my times in Las Vegas: The Hangover Unrated on Bluray [$15.99]

To cover up the smell of poop, chewed up Teddy Grahams, etc: Ed Hardy - Hearts & Daggers [$55.95]

To keep my feetsies warm when I show my husband what a good wifey I am by shoveling the driveway: Bailey Button Uggs [$150]

Because I want to be her/am a mom with "mommy style" these days: Rachel Zoe : Style: A to Zoe [$10.87]

Even though I haven't seen it yet, but let's be for real: BRAD PITT: Inglorious Basterds on Bluray [$18.99]

BEHOLD. For the organizational freak that I am and because it's PURPLE: Brother PT-80 Label Maker [$27.74]

To cook with...or giggle about the name: 6 Qt Dutch Oven in Green [$77.00]

Okay, well there you have it. My Christmas wish list. Go forth and buy. Email me for my address kthanksbye.

AND CAN I ADD? Yes. I want a new Dyson...a Dyson Ball please. To my delight, Jill over at Baby Rabies is having a giveaway for one. Hopefully I will get picked. Squeeeeeel. Go! Try to win! Also, follow me on Twitter and follow Jill too... @tiffluc and @babyrabies!

Where Being Nice Gets You.

There is this particular strech of road in our town where I used to get extremely feisty and all race car driver on everyone's ass (of course this was pre-Mason and pre-crazy person meds). There are also a couple other "hot spots" around this great state that I have learned you have to be extra-defensive in your driving skillz. Like, for instance, let's say there are currently two lanes and there is a BIG YELLOW SIGN that shows the two lanes becoming one. Let's also pretend that you are already in the good lane, the one that isn't disappearing. Then, here comes asshole in his Mustang (I hate them BTW, sorry dad) and he soooo thinks he is going to beat you to the punch. Insert blood pressure spike, also insert my foot hitting the gas at warped speeds.

Oh OH OH and what about when you desperately need to change lanes because you don't want to be THAT PERSON? You know, the one I discussed above? Yeah, and NO ONE, not even the POPE will let you over? That's where the universe kills me, and buries me alive. Okay, that made no sense. This is where I make mental notes and keep them in my "EVIL BITCH" file for later. Fast forward to now, in the car with Paul. Someone needs to change lanes to avoid being "THAT PERSON" and I am refusing to let them in. Paul always asks why I don't just let them in. I say, "Because I am an evil, evil car-driving bitch and the universe hates me, so I am hating it back."

I have become much nicer when it comes to car driving since having Mason. I mean really, where do I have to go? Occasionally I even let someone pull out in front of me. I am THAT nice. I have been doing a lot of nice things lately - I am proud of this. Guess what though? The universe is shatting on me again. It seems every time I am pleased with my nice-ness, someone grabs a big handful of poo and slings it my way. I keep my mouth shut, I do my job as a human-being, I obey the rules and all that but then BAM! someone or something (usually someone) decides that maybe I am being a little too nice I need to remember to dust off my evil bitch file once and a while.

I have decided that perhaps I should take tomorrow and just be thankful for the important things ::insert them here:: and screw the universe and I urge you to do the same.